Tape Recorded Phone Conversation Between Fraternal Twins

ALLISON: Hey.

HUGO: Hey.

ALLISON: [pause, then quietly:] I’m waiting for her to leave.

HUGO: I got a life to lead, you know.

ALLISON: Yeah right. [pause] OK, there, finally.

HUGO: What’s the haps.

ALLISON: You’ve got to get new shoes.

HUGO: You can feel that? I know, it sucks.

ALLISON: Were you walking all day or what?

HUGO: That’s my job. Walk around all day.

ALLISON: I guess you’re qualified for that.

HUGO: Why’d you have to [wait for Mom to leave the room].

ALLISON: So she wouldn’t hear my plans [to kill her].

HUGO: Are they [the same as last time]?

ALLISON: What [was it last time]? The thing with [the nitroglycerine]?

HUGO: The nitroglycerine.

ALLISON: [laughter]

HUGO: So [what is she doing, exactly]?

ALLISON: Oh [the usual], you know. Crazy. She’s manic. Just thank God [she’s leaving soon], you know?

HUGO: She’d never let me stay alone [for a month].

ALLISON: I am going to rage.

HUGO: You’re not going to bust me outta here?

ALLISON: Oh no, no. It’s all for your—how’s it go—like—it’s all about your rehab[ilitation].

HUGO: [I could at least be a] Doped-up rock star or something.

ALLISON: I know. You let us all down.

HUGO: [I’m going to be a] Year behind you [from now on]. That’s just balls-out unfair.

ALLISON: [tittering]

HUGO: [I should go.] Hog wants to teach me something.

ALLISON: OK. [I will come visit you.]

HUGO: [I know.]

ALLISON: [I love you.]

HUGO: [I love you, too.]

ALLISON: Well, take ‘er easy.

HUGO: [Talk to you] Later.

[a thin click, then a dial tone]