Fireland

My Perm Is A Total Disaster! / 20 October 2003

My perm is a total disaster! It smells like dead poodle for reals! I am forced to cloak my head in a Confederate flag bandana!

Obviously, the cubicle is all mine this week, my cubiclemate having fled for the Bahamas. The place is thrashed already. Pizza boxes piling up, keyboards beer-sticky, dead hooker rolled up in a carpet under the desk. Pants totally optional. Currently on hold with Home Depot, pricing various privacy-installation options for the old “cube” here: bead curtain, mosquito netting, Les Nessman invisible door, some sort of dramatic canopy emblazoned with the spectral visage of Jim Morrison. Grinding up Cinnamon Altoids into a fine dust with my Williams-Sonoma Mortar ‘n’ Pestle and snorting it into my sinuses so my thoughts are suddenly alive with pleasure. Assembling punji sticks out of thumbtacks and sharpened pencils. Abandoning email entirely and instead writing brief messages on Post-Its and folding them into paper cranes and hand-delivering them to my correspondents. It’s a big week, it’s a good week, it’s a week filled with love.




Joshua Green Allen
 

WELCOME GENTLE LADIES
Fireland is a rickety old website by Joshua Allen.

CURRENT PROJECTS
A novel called Chokeville and a beverage-review site called The Knowledge For Thirst.

WRITING / ARCHIVE
A great deal of typing is collected in the Archive.

WRITING / ELSEWHERE
Articles and whatnot for other sites, including The Morning News, Wired, and McSweeney's, can be found in External.

MOVIES
I've been involved in a number of Epiphany Sink pictures.

MUSIC
I record music under the name Orifex.

FEED
The RSS feed is here.

NOTIFICATION
Join the notify list for extremely infrequent updates via email.

MISC
The Sexiest Sentence Alive, Fireland Broke My Will To Live, The Black Pill Diaries, and a sampling of Old Fireland Designs.

EMAIL
I can be contacted at .

 

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