Father's Day Cards / 14 June 2005

OK I’m over at the grocery store trying to find some decent Father’s Day cards, and I mean I know grocery-store greeting cards are not known for their creativity or wit or like class or anything, but you skim through the Father’s Day section and you get a pretty depressing concept of fatherhood, namely fathers are clueless, lazy, incompetent, distant, bald, couch potato-slash-golfers who are only good for money. Which OK fine, but all these cards are sort of accusatory about it, like: “Hey, Dad! Spend this special day by lounging around on the couch! Oh wait, you do that EVERY day!!” I don’t want to be laying that trip on any of my various fathers, come on. So my choices were either the creepily sincere ones complete with script font and tissue-paper inserts (“Father, you have blessed my life in so many ways”) or the ones I went with, which take the “Sorry you had to deal with having children” angle, thereby putting the burden of the insult on the card-giver rather than recipient, which seems more in the spirit of the holiday. God I’m like Andy Rooney Dot Org over here.

Previously / Berkowitz Heat
Next / The B-Hole

Joshua Green Allen

Fireland is a rickety old website by Joshua Allen.

A novel called Chokeville and a beverage-review site called The Knowledge For Thirst.

A great deal of typing is collected in the Archive.

Articles and whatnot for other sites, including The Morning News, Wired, and McSweeney's, can be found in External.

I've been involved in a number of Epiphany Sink pictures.

I record music under the name Orifex.

The RSS feed is here.

Join the notify list for extremely infrequent updates via email.

The Sexiest Sentence Alive, Fireland Broke My Will To Live, The Black Pill Diaries, and a sampling of Old Fireland Designs.

I can be contacted at .


♦ ♦ ♦