OK I’m over at the grocery store trying to find some decent Father’s Day cards, and I mean I know grocery-store greeting cards are not known for their creativity or wit or like class or anything, but you skim through the Father’s Day section and you get a pretty depressing concept of fatherhood, namely fathers are clueless, lazy, incompetent, distant, bald, couch potato-slash-golfers who are only good for money. Which OK fine, but all these cards are sort of accusatory about it, like: “Hey, Dad! Spend this special day by lounging around on the couch! Oh wait, you do that EVERY day!!” I don’t want to be laying that trip on any of my various fathers, come on. So my choices were either the creepily sincere ones complete with script font and tissue-paper inserts (“Father, you have blessed my life in so many ways”) or the ones I went with, which take the “Sorry you had to deal with having children” angle, thereby putting the burden of the insult on the card-giver rather than recipient, which seems more in the spirit of the holiday. God I’m like Andy Rooney Dot Org over here.